Poor Florida

Illustration for article titled Poor Florida

Florida's NFL teams have been just awful this season, on the field and off. The Jaguars just picked up their first win of the season, leaving the Buccaneers as the only winless team in the league. They host Monday Night Football tonight against the Dolphins, owners of four wins and generators of a million columns this past week on the Incognito-Martin situation. Somehow, despite Tampa exposing MRSA and Greg Schiano to the rest of the world, they don't look like the most inept club in football this week, and they have a hazing scandal to thank for that. As much as I'd like to delve deeper into the Dolphins' locker room, I'd rather look at just how messed up the Buccaneers have been this year.


They're winless. Their team culture has been described as "like being in Cuba." They had a players-only meeting before the season even started. They cut their quarterback, the franchise leader in passing touchdowns, on October 3. That same quarterback who would have been captain, except the coaches rigged the vote. They have had three players infected with MRSA. "There is an atmosphere of fear and distrust under the current regime in Tampa." Despite all that, they are in a (relatively) better PR spot than the Dolphins, and that's really sad for all parties. It may be better off for all of us to just forget this game exists.

If you're going to watch anyway, because fantasy football or something, I highly recommend muting the television so you don't have to listen to all of the problems going on amidst these football teams. In lieu of Cris Collinsworth, try listening to the new album Pine Trails by Satellite Stories. If you feel like having a beer with the game, we're going with a Stowaway I.P.A. from Baxter Brewing Company. One of the first craft breweries to go cans over bottles, this delicious beer has a strong hop scent and a not too bitter flavor, making it one of my favorites. Also, after tonight, maybe we can just try not to talk about Floridian football for a while? At least they have Florida State. Enjoy the game, I guess.

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