For me, he is Sir Arsene Wenger. He likes having the ball, playing football, passes. It’s like an orchestra. But it is a silent song, yeah? I like heavy metal. -Jurgen Klopp
Today is Moving Day for groups E-H of the Champions League, which means we have a lot to cover so we're gonna do this quick.
In Group E, Chelsea hosts German side Schalke to see who goes top of the group. The two sides are joint top on six points apiece, and a win by either side could see the other drop to third in the group. Basel look likely to beat Steaua Bucharest and head to 7 points, with their shock win at Stamford Bridge driving their progression chances, and should end the day no worse than second place in the group with two to play.
Group F was deemed the Group of Death from the start, and it has lived up to the hype. Goal differential is all that separates the top of the group, and Napoli look like a good bet to get to nine points as they host cellar dwellers Marseille. Arsenal will look for retribution at Dortmund, but a loss could put the English leaders in danger of settling for the Europa League.
The magic of Russian time zones means the important match in G already happened, with Porto earning a draw at Zenit St. Petersburg. Atletico Madrid will advance with a win over lowly Austria Wien, and Zenit and Porto will continue to battle for that next qualification spot in the group.
The other best match of the day is in Group H, as AC Milan travel to Barcelona looking to overtake the current leaders with a win. While these two are definitive favorites, Celtic can threaten by winning in Amsterdam. This would bring them to six points, and with a Barcelona victory AC Milan would drop to the Europa League place in the group.
Now that all of this is happening, let's sit down and grab a beer. Since two German sides, Dortmund and Schalke, are in the most important matches of the day, and we'd like to pretend it's still summer out, we're going to recommend a kolsch with a cool name to carry you through the afternoon. The Saint Arnold Fancy Lawnmower is actually brewed in Texas, but a guy from North Carolina said that the mouthfeel is light and the flavors refreshing and thirst quenching, which sounds like a lovely way to take in some important and (hopefully) well-played soccer today. So go sneak a beer, discretely pull up a game on your second computer screen, and don't react loud enough for your boss to hear.